The Purity Report - Discussion Forum: Is MB sinful

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The Purity Report » Sexual Integrity Forum » Sexual Integrity Discussion

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Is MB sinful
mrjoe	#1 Posted on 06/27/2012
New Member Posts: 49 Joined: 06/21/2012	I'm currently single but have a quick question on MB. Is MB sinful if I only think about a current partner when doing it? I know looking at porn, lusting after women is Biblically wrong, but how about MB when thinking about a current partner that your not married to? Thanks, Joe 'Figure out what you love to do, what God gave you a heart to do, and then do it for His glory'Rick Warren Is it wise?


john	#2 Posted on 06/27/2012
Super Admin Posts: 10817 Joined: 08/05/2005	Good question. This topic comes up from time to time around here, as you might expect. I'll start here - James Dobson, at Focus on the Family, places masturbation in a "gray area." He sees it as a behavior that can be problematic, but not on par with adultery of the heart as described by Jesus. I say that to point out that some of the most well-known Christian counselors do not find masturbation itself inherently sinful. I personally believe that asking if it is a sin, or not, may be the wrong question. After you've been around me for any real length of time, you'll find I use a phrase quite when weighing our behaviors. We tend to see things very black-and-white. "Is it a sin? Is it right or wrong for me to _________ ?" This kind of thinking limits us, and locks us into, what I believe to be, a legalistic mindset. We make everything into a moral quandary. A better question in these situations is this - "Is this wise?" I nicked this from Andy Stanley's book "The Best Question Ever." He makes a strong case that this question can free us from all sorts of situations, and help us to move forward with grace and confidence. I have found it to be immensely helpful in my life, and seen it work to help in others' lives as well. It goes like this (in a nutshell)...relating it to your specific question... "I want to masturbate. It feels good, I am all alone and I cannot see that it harms me or anyone else. I am thinking of my girlfriend, or just thinking about how good it feels to bring myself to orgasm." Here is where I go awry - I ask myself, "Is this wrong?" Now I am viewing it from a standpoint of law; am I breaking God's law when I masturbate? The Bible doesn't have one word in it about masturbation. Does the Bible's silence on the topic mean it's okay? I can continue with this line of thinking and really cause a lot of anxiety trying to reason it out. So, a better question..."Is this wise?" Stanley gives three qualifying questions. 1. Based upon my past experience 2. Based upon my current circumstances 3. Based upon my future hopes and dreams ...is it wise for me to masturbate? That opens up a whole new dimension of thought that can help us decide with confidence whether we should, or should not masturbate. Furthermore, we can reevaluate and determine if we have moved away from wisdom into foolishness with a particular behavior. We tend to put things into two columns. Think of a sheet of paper with a vertical line drawn down the center. The left column is "Right" the other column is "Wrong". Which column does _______ fall into? I believe a better way to look at things is to have columns for "Wise" and "Foolish." If we aren't walking in wisdom, then we are by default walking in foolishness. I know this doesn't answer your question outright. Instead, I wanted to open up a deeper discussion with you on the topic. What do you think? Porn Is Not An Option


chieffan	#3 Posted on 06/27/2012
Administrator Posts: 7041 Joined: 04/14/2007	That's very well said John, and it's definitely been helpful for me to think on those lines of wisdom and foolishness. It really helps the focus without the very binary approach of right/wrong. SD - 6/14/12 Do not let your heart envy sinners. Proverbs 23:17a But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:4-7 SDGDevotion Before Duty


mrjoe	#4 Posted on 06/28/2012
New Member Posts: 49 Joined: 06/21/2012	Funny you ask that question ‘Is it wise?’ I was listening Joel Osteen preaching on YouTube this morning and he said that when in any given situation we should ask ourselves if what we’re doing or about to do is wise... I also find myself easily trapped in circles of thought when contemplating any given action and trying to determine whether it is right or wrong, I’ve had many sleepness nights doing this. So.. ‘Is it Wise?’ Yesterday was an exception as MB didn’t lead to P (9 times out of 10 it does) But usually my inner reasoning goes like this when I mb ‘I’ll MB quickly with no P’ ‘Maybe I’ll just watch fully clothed women on YouTube’ ‘Maybe i’ll watch semi naked women on YouTube’ ‘Now i’m watching semi naked women, I may as well watch fully naked women, I may as well just watch P as I’ve already sinned’ So for me it seems like mb can open the door to watching P which is a sin, so I guess I need to keep that door closed and not mb. It’s like James 1 says ...’Then lust when it have conceived bringeth forth sin, and sin when it is finished bringeth forth death’ 'Figure out what you love to do, what God gave you a heart to do, and then do it for His glory'Rick Warren Is it wise?


john	#5 Posted on 06/28/2012
Super Admin Posts: 10817 Joined: 08/05/2005	Speaking for me personally, masturbation always led me to pornography when I found ways to justify it. It opened the same slippery slope mentality that you described. So for me... 1. based upon my past experience: masturbation seemed to always lead me to use pornography 2. based on my current circumstances: I am stressed and want a release, and masturbation has been a way to escape, temporarily relieve pressure and stress, and provide physical pleasure 3. based on my future hopes and dreams: I really want a deep, fulfilling intimacy, both physically and emotionally with my wife. I also want a deep intimacy with the Lord, unhindered by foolish behavior and the associated guilty feelings. Is it wise for me to masturbate? I found the answer is a firm, "No." For me personally, it is foolish to masturbate, for the above reasons and more. I don't preach to guys that it's a sin to masturbate. Instead, I trust the Holy Spirit (assuming they are born again and honestly desire to please God) to lead them into wisdom when given the opportunity. Obviously, pornography and lust are explicitly sins and therefore inherently unwise (foolish). Porn Is Not An Option


mrjoe	#6 Posted on 06/28/2012
New Member Posts: 49 Joined: 06/21/2012	John thanks for the above Since I've come back to God I don't have many male Christian friends, I need to be around guys spouting the wisdom you did above so that when I face a challenge I can bounce it off them and get a different persons viewpoint! God bless you bro! 'Figure out what you love to do, what God gave you a heart to do, and then do it for His glory'Rick Warren Is it wise?


john	#7 Posted on 06/28/2012
Super Admin Posts: 10817 Joined: 08/05/2005	You bet! I pray the Lord will give you the grace to walk in wisdom today, and avoid foolishness. It would have sounded so funny for me to say such a thing without the context of this whole conversation! Porn Is Not An Option


aces40	#8 Posted on 06/28/2012
Senior Contributor Posts: 554 Joined: 07/19/2011	Good topic. For me personally it is not wise. I have done it alot in the past and I don't want to do it anymore.


GibsonSG1	#9 Posted on 07/01/2012
New Member Posts: 43 Joined: 06/15/2012	Great thread, That was very well put John. I had never heard it said like that before and I really needed that right now. Thank you. Chris __________________________________ If God is for us who can be against us.


john	#10 Posted on 07/01/2012
Super Admin Posts: 10817 Joined: 08/05/2005	You bet! I'm glad it was helpful. Porn Is Not An Option